Ever hear this statement? I have. My entire adult life up to now (being around only 6 years [counting 18 as the first year of "adulthood"]), I've been told by my mother, and even co-workers that video games are a pasttime solely for those of a lower intellect; or maturity level of a grade-schooler. And I thought of this, and honestly... they're right!
I mean look at Prototype
Barney says that tentacle rape is A-Okay!
In this child-friendly game, you will run about a New York city; grabbing onto any hapless standerby; and then either flinging them across the city (only to be splattered against a building), shooting them to death, or absorbing them into your body by:
-Pummeling them to death
-Crushing their skull in
-Ripping their body in half
-Disembowling them
-Decapitating them
Not only that, but you can also turn other soldiers into "patsies", in which the remaining soldiers in the area will aim at that person, and fire on them--thinking they are you. Because nothing says "for children only" like some old-fashioned ultra-violence, and backstabbing. NOTHING. And nothing says "for children only" like fighting a giant foetus-like creature, covered in blood.
Or how about Call Of Duty: World At War?
Mommy always told me "Sharing is caring"... So let me share my bullets with you!
I know that when I let my 5 year-old sit down with my prized PS3, I want to know that the first thing he sees in the game is a scene of an American Marine having his throat slit, and splattering blood across the nearby wall. Right. In. His. Face. Didn't you know that the next episode of Sesame Street will deal with the subject of how to give a proper Columbian Necktie?
And in the next printing of Family Circus, Billy roasts Kelly with a flamethrower while screaming "TOJO'S MAKING A BREAK FOR IT!"
But don't forget the grandest kiddie game of them all: SPLATTERHOUSE.
Daddy says that if I let the maggots eat me, I'll get my dessert!
Yes, this game is full of childish fun; putting Super Mario Sunshine to SHAME. Follow Parapsychologist (because EVERY kid wants to be one when they grow up) Rick as he slaughters his way through the West Mansion, in search of his kidnapped girlfriend. Along the way, you'll fight zombies, decaying doggies, foetusi, and see your own girlfriend's skin rip off her body; revealing a long-clawed demon!
You'll squeal with glee as you decapitate, bludgeon, and utterly blow-apart everything in your path; all in glorious gory fashion.
Clearly, playing video games is exclusively a childish pasttime. Don't you agree?
Parents are just BURSTING with excitement for their kid's hobby!
Barney says that tentacle rape is A-Okay!In this child-friendly game, you will run about a New York city; grabbing onto any hapless standerby; and then either flinging them across the city (only to be splattered against a building), shooting them to death, or absorbing them into your body by:-Pummeling them to death-Crushing their skull in-Ripping their body in half-Disembowling them-Decapitating themNot only that, but you can also turn other soldiers into "patsies", in which the remaining soldiers in the area will aim at that person, and fire on them--thinking they are you. Because nothing says "for children only" like some old-fashioned ultra-violence, and backstabbing. NOTHING. And nothing says "for children only" like fighting a giant foetus-like creature, covered in blood.Or how about Call Of Duty: World At War?
Mommy always told me "Sharing is caring"... So let me share my bullets with you!I know that when I let my 5 year-old sit down with my prized PS3, I want to know that the first thing he sees in the game is a scene of an American Marine having his throat slit, and splattering blood across the nearby wall. Right. In. His. Face. Didn't you know that the next episode of Sesame Street will deal with the subject of how to give a proper Columbian Necktie?And in the next printing of Family Circus, Billy roasts Kelly with a flamethrower while screaming "TOJO'S MAKING A BREAK FOR IT!"But don't forget the grandest kiddie game of them all: SPLATTERHOUSE.
Daddy says that if I let the maggots eat me, I'll get my dessert!Yes, this game is full of childish fun; putting Super Mario Sunshine to SHAME. Follow Parapsychologist (because EVERY kid wants to be one when they grow up) Rick as he slaughters his way through the West Mansion, in search of his kidnapped girlfriend. Along the way, you'll fight zombies, decaying doggies, foetusi, and see your own girlfriend's skin rip off her body; revealing a long-clawed demon!You'll squeal with glee as you decapitate, bludgeon, and utterly blow-apart everything in your path; all in glorious gory fashion.Clearly, playing video games is exclusively a childish pasttime. Don't you agree?
Parents are just BURSTING with excitement for their kid's hobby!
Comments (4)
I can see her argument, and yours. She just hasn't seenenough games that truly tell a good story, and those that metaphorically grip the player along the way--occasionally rated M, even. Sigh. . .
PS:You forgot MGS (blood, much?) :(!
the first game is really cool... my best friend has it...
but yeah, most video games today are definitely not meant for children. unless we are actually trying to fuck them up.
<3
parents just want to please their kids. "little timmy, what do you want for your birthday?"
Yes, playing video games is entirely a childhood pastime, which is why the average age of gamers is like 30 something. Splatterhouse is the childish game ever!